JOURNAL

My Own Kind Of Pain

More To Me is based on the dozens of true stories of kids who I’ve met over the years; some who lived under the same roof as me for a season, and others that I’ve met more recently through other means. But all of these stories were from kids who have been in foster care.

They told their stories to me, and shared the one thing they wanted the world to know. I took each of their “one thing” and molded it into a fictional character named Bri.

Bri isn’t your typical teenager. She’s mature because she’s had to be. She’s strong, not because she wanted to be, but because her circumstances forced her to.

There is a topic that I will be going more in depth on later, which is that there is more to each of us than anyone will ever understand. But for now, I will simply state this truth: I will never be able to say that I understand what these kids have been through.

I may have written a book about their lives, but it’s their stories, and I will never be able to grasp the depth of the pain they’ve felt.

But I have felt my own kind of pain.

All of us have.

And that is why I wrote the book. To allow people to see a sliver of what kids in foster care go through, but also to give hope to the hurting.

I haven’t been through what other people have been through. But I’ve walked the path of depression, and I’ve listened to the lies Satan has spoken to my heart. I listened to those lies for years before I realized how far I’d slipped.

If you haven’t listened to Zach Williams’ song “Fear Is A Liar”, please do. Here is the music video. Be prepared to cry, but watch til the end.

You’re welcome.

Lies will ruin a person. I know because that’s what almost ruined me.

I told myself I wasn’t good enough…never would be good enough.

Most girls will [at some point] go through a season where they feel this way, but this was a way of life for me. Sometimes, we believe the lie because our culture portrays this message clearly–that girls and women can’t ever measure up because there’s always something they need to change or do: lose weight, wear the right clothes, use the right snapchat filter.

But sometimes, we believe the lie because the words have been audibly spoken to us.

We’ve been told by people we care about that we will never be good enough and we will never measure up. That hurts, and let me tell you…it takes a long time to recover from this kind of mental battle.

You want to be good enough, so you try really really hard, but at some point you just want to give up, because what’s the point? There’s always going to be this cloud of disappointment looming over you, so why try?

Lies are poison, and if you don’t believe me, go watch that music video again.

I may not have experienced pain in the way that some of these kids have, but lies are lies, and they need to be exposed. More To Me exposes the lies that so many of us struggle with in our day to day lives.

It shows the tears, the heartbreak, and the trust issues, but it goes a step further. It shows what can happen when we realize that we are beautiful, loved, and created for a purpose.

Hope.

Hope happens.

Would you read this book? If it touches you like it’s touched so many others, would you share it with your friends? Messages like this don’t come around very often, so spread the love far and wide.

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